..out what happened to
chivalry.
Last week I was working
on a post about the death of chivalry.
 chivalry (ˈʃɪvəlrɪ) |
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— n , pl -ries
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1.
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the combination of qualities expected of an ideal knight,
espcourage, honour, justice, and a readiness to help the weak |
2.
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courteous behaviour, esp towards women
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3.
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the medieval system and principles of knighthood
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4.
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knights, noblemen, etc, collectively
But, as I was working on it, it was deleted. I was beyond upset. Needless to say I didn't write anything that week. Moving forward to today. I had been sitting at my laptop, chit chatting with some friends and it hit me. I finally figured out what happened to chivalrous acts. Folks want to blame women who have independent attitudes as the cause of men not feeling as though they have to be respectful or courteous toward women. While women may carry some blame, it's not the independent attitudes that caused it. This is my imagined cause of the beginning of the death of chivalry. BOOTY CALLS/CASUAL SEX.  For those of you who are unfamiliar with booty calls, here's a quick definition.
1. noun: a person with
whom one has sex at random times outside of a relation ship. 2. verb: the act
of calling said person. 3. noun: the term used to refer to said phone call.
(urban dictionary)
Now that you know what it is, here's why I believe it helped to quicken the death of chivalry. (Again, these are my thoughts on it, you don't have to agree.)In my mind, relationships are two people who enjoy doing things together and can put up with the other person ways and of course, the majority of them are sexual. In order to get to know each other men would ask women out. This is before it was cool to meet someone and go over their house the first or second day of knowing them, they would have to be in a public place. Now, it's not uncommon for men or women to invite the other over their house for a "date", that's not a date darling, that's just hanging out. I don't see anything wrong with hanging out, but I could stay home and watch tv. I know, I know money is tight. But if I’m driving to your house to watch tv, why can’t we just go to a park and walk around? (Dating on a budget will be discussed later) Back to the story. So, while we are accepting these dates to someone house we are shortening the chase. There’s no getting to know you stage, you are already getting comfortable. After coming over for a few visits you feel safe enough to stay later and end up spending the night. We all know what happens after that. You guessed it, Sex. Mind you this is probably week two. Unfortunately, you don’t know anything about this person, cause if you did you would know he doesn’t “want a relationship”, which means he’s not interested in a relationship with you. But he’s totally cool with having a “casual situation” with you. You guys don’t go anywhere or do anything beyond eating and fcuking, he’s getting a full return on his “investment”. Fast forward a few months, he’s bored with you and suddenly busy with very little time to “hang” out. What he neglects to tell you is he’s “busy” spending time with another young lady. One who refused to go to his home, for a date.
Bottomline: DEMAND
MORE! If he bounces or pulls back from you, so be it. Obviously your ego will
be a little bruised, but in the end you have saved your time and your
goodies. Women have gotten so relaxed in their standards in order to “have
someone”, it’s actually sad. The worst part is seeing that someone has
dropped any and all expectation from their relationship and just settle for
whomever. I promise you being alone is not the same thing as being lonely. Especially
if the only thing you are doing is hanging out at someone’s home.
If you want a man to
open the door for you, experience new things with you or whatever. Then say
so, not everyone has that foundation. If he says no, then bounce. There’s
absolutely no reason to stay in dead end relationships. Seriously, think
about your end goal if it’s marriage and his isn’t, then he’s not the one,
duh. You want to live that six figure lifestyle and he’s content with making
25gs a year, he’s not the one. Be realistic, folks don’t change if they don’t see anything
wrong.
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